How to Demolish your De-motivators—and Achieve your Goals

Excerpted from On Track to Success in 30 Days System for Experienced Agents,

Carla Cross Seminars, Inc.

Carla Cross, CRB, MA

It’s a tougher market out there. It can get you down. We all need tools right now to demolish those de-motivators. In other words, we must not only manage our business, we must manage our attitudes.

Why is managing attitude important? Because it determines how well you do.

Ability is what you’re capable of doing.

Motivation determines what you do.

Attitude determines how well you do it.

-Lou Holtz, famed former Notre Dame football coach

In this article, I am going to give you methods of organizing your thoughts so that they support your roadmap for success. You will be able to recognize when your thoughts sometimes order you around. You will get strategies to get control of your attitude--and order it around--to create greater success.

Much of my insight did not come from the experience of being a real estate agent, manager, and trainer. It came to me from all those years I spent as a musician, honing my performance skills so I could obtain a bachelor’s degree in piano performance. From the time I was four, I was in front of people playing the piano. I had to learn to manage my attitude to conquer the performance anxieties and uncertainness that accrue from tackling very difficult piano pieces in front of demanding audiences. So, much of what I will share with you here is a result of mastering musical performance. I know how to get better, and I will show you how to manage your attitude so you can get better, too.

I have identified eight challenges that sabotage us from reaching our desired results:

1. Not being mentally tough

2. Thinking it’s someone else’s job to manage our attitude

3. Blaming someone else for our failures, which leads to loss of power

4. Underestimating what it takes to do the job

5. Mastering negative ‘self-talk’ until it determines our attitude, beliefs, and outcomes

6. Believing that the first time we do something is as good as it will ever get.

7. Thinking that our ‘inner manager’ is always working in our best interests.

8. Always ready with a reason why we don’t have to get into action.

Are you tough enough?

Let’s tackle the first component here: mental toughness.

You and I both know keeping a positive outlook is a very important component for real estate success. Yet, I have found that very few of the agents who go into real estate have the ready-made mental toughness to withstand the disappointments and rejections of the business. Sometimes they fail simply because they let their attitude manage them! It seems to me that most agents (and managers) could benefit from some additional skills in learning to manage attitude. I think these skills can be learned. Just listen to great athletes talk about their failures, injuries, and disappointments. They simply never give up!

Managing your attitude is part of your job. In interviewing hundreds of agents after they have been in real estate several months, most of them tell me that they did not know real estate would be so personally challenging. They did not know how easy it was to 'get down'--or how quickly they could lose that excitement, that enthusiasm they felt as a new agent.

Think back to when you were a new agent. How long did that initial excitement, enthusiasm, and hope last? According to my survey of agents new to real estate, they expected to make a sale their first thirty days in the business. Most of them do not accomplish that. So, if their expectations are not met, they lose that enthusiasm.

Most agents tell me it only took them about a month to start questioning themselves about whether they should be in this business. Since they did not realize they would have so many ups and downs, they were not prepared to deal with the 'downs'. Unfortunately, then, they talk themselves out of the business--and do not even know they're doing it! Knowing and applying what is in this section, then, can make the difference between success and failure in your career.

Manager’s tip: The best way for you to help your agents stay ‘up’ is to start them in an aggressive start-up plan so they get a sale fast. That is motivating!

Put a Plug in that Negative Self-Talk!

Remember when you were a kid. Did you ever want to take part in a sport, or learn a musical instrument? Or, did you want to start a venture or an adventure? Why did you want to do it? What did your parents say when you told them what you wanted to do? How strong was your motivation to do it? Did you convince your parents? Did you actually start? Did you keep going? What happened when, to get better, you had to devote more energy, time, and interest to it?

Looking back at your life in this area will tell you a lot about your intuitive sense about yourself. It will tell you how much belief you have in yourself, how much tenacity, how much ability to take direction from someone else to get better. It will tell you how willing you are to take risk and to change.

Now, fast forward to real estate. Have you taken your intuition, body, and soul into the business like you did in this youthful venture? If not, you need to have a serious talk with your inner manager. He may be stopping you from 'acting naturally'. That talk might sound like this:

"Now, Joan, I know we've been together a long time. You've done a good job overall giving me advice. However, you're kind of in the dark ages about me now. I want to be successful in this new adventure, real estate. Remember when you supported me as a kid as I (fill in your adventure). Well, I need your support now. Quit that negative talk about failing, risk, and change. I'm not as scared as you think I am. Give me some pep talks and some laughs and some real positive strokes, like you did before. I need your positive support, Joan."

Exercise: The next time you catch your self talking negative self-talk, counter it with 20 repetitions of positive self-talk. Do this exercise at least 5 times a day for 1 week. You are retraining your mind to respond in a way that supports your goals.

When we go into real estate, we think that learning the inventory, grasping the technology, and attending risk management courses will assure our success. But, as we progress, we find out there’s a whole aspect of real estate that entails our managing more than just the technical parts of the business. You’re on your way, now, to that mental toughness you need to success at a higher level each year.

For more strategies on demolishing your de-motivators and get the emotional support you need to tackle these market challenges, see On Track to Success in 30 Days System for Experienced Agents, Carla Cross Seminars, Inc., www.carlacross.com.

Carla Cross, CRB, MA, is president of Carla Cross Seminars, Inc. and Carla Cross Coaching, specializing in real estate sales and management. Cross, an international speaker and coach, is the author of 6 internationally published books, 10 productivity programs, and is a winner of the National Association of Realtors’ National Educator of the Year award. Contact her at www.carlacross.com or 425-392-6914.